whatsacactus | (no subject)

Oh.

[His expression closes off a little at that. Another tally on the fuck up count.]

... I'll be there in a few minutes.

[Shiro drops a hand against his shoulder and squeezes gently.]

It's not you. I just need some time. Stay as long as you want. It's beautiful out here, and I know you're enjoying it.

[The thought of sleeping out here crosses his mind. The only thing to make him decide not to is the unfamiliar ground and his own injuries. He nods, watching Shiro go back inside.

Keith stays, watching the unfamiliar color of the sky flash bright above him. Did Zarkon see this too? Back when this was first built, had the Galra emperor seen the way the reds spiral and whorl into the purple. The weather has all but destroyed the land outside this barrier, so what must he had found that was worth building this here?

It's close to an hour before he comes back in. He makes sure the little creature he'd been holding is safe under the kitchen door's awning just outside. It may be cute and it may not have attacked him, but it's still wild. A servibot whizzes past him, clean towels folded and on its way upstairs, likely to replenish the ones they'd used.]

...Late in the day, may as well.

[He takes up a station in the kitchen to pick through all the food they'd brought in. A lot of it he recognizes either having eaten it, or having eaten something similar. Sure, the bots could probably fix something, but he wants to. He needs to feel useful. Keith cautiously cleans everything, from the food to the dishes he uses; no telling what's on them after this long. He manages to put something together: simple, a kind of starchy grain he boiled and drained, some of the bug meat dug out and cooked proper in a pan. Enough for the two of them, a couple bites extra for Shadow if she's able to eat it.]

Hey, Shiro? Where're you at?

In here.

[He's sitting in the -- well, he supposes it's a den, the place with the chairs and the books. He'd heard Keith come in, but he'd been absorbed in trying to decipher the Altean text. Part of him wants to bring it back for Allura to read, but the other part--

(He wants to keep this place secret. This was somewhere Black brought them. Maybe that's selfish.)

He does look up when Keith enters the room, and he smiles.]

Hey. Smells great.

Thanks, it's-- Basic.

[Simple. Easy to eat with one hand and one fork. He sets it down on the table by Shiro. It may be a den, but there's no one to stop them from eating in here now. He does hesitate deciding to sit or eat somewhere else. Shadow makes the choice for him, moving to lay in the doorway.

Great.

He takes a breath and sits.]

Anything interesting? [He wishes he'd spent more time asking Krolia about Galra language. Maybe then he could read some of this.]

[He shakes his head, absently shifting in his chair so he can reach out with his right hand--

He stops. Moving his left instead takes a concentrated effort, and his expression is faintly pinched.]

Not much I can read. I know-- a little Altean now. I think Black was trying to teach me, but I feel like not everything-- you know, stuck. Some of it.

[The writing is a hybridization of Altean and Galra he's never seen before or since. He supposes it makes sense, given Zarkon's close relationship with Alfor, and Lotor's mother.]

Do you think this is what life was like, before the war?

Maybe? We could probably ask Coran.

[He gets a forkful of everything and chews it over. It isn't bad. But the thought that this is what things were like is almost unsettling. Calm, peaceful. Not like anything he's ever lived. It sets his nerves off if he lets himself think about it too long.]

Hard to imagine.

[Earth has had its share of wars. His grandmother even fought in one. But Shiro grew up in a peaceful time. That was in his soul too, but that impulse has been damaged now. Maybe irreparably. When you learn to operate under the stress and fear and tension of constant threat of combat or death, it changes you.

The fate of the universe is on the shoulders of teenagers. Kids. He wanted-- he tried so hard to protect them all, but sometimes the lines got blurred. Spare their innocence or let a civilization be destroyed. Let a hundred, a thousand, a million lives be lost.

Shiro never slept much, in the Castle. He knew Keith would stand tall under the mantle of leadership, but that too was necessity. He'd have spared him the rest if he could.

Keith grew up in peacetime too, but he's always been a fighter.]

I feel like I used to know what it was like.

[Even if it was peacetime, his life didn't seem to get that memo. He'd always been fighting somehow.

He eats and tries not to think too hard about it. About their fight, about the fact Shiro died despite everything he'd done to not let that happen.]

Hopefully we can finish helping the universe get back to that.

Even when we can stop what's left of Zarkon and Lotor's Empire [note, how he doesn't say Galra,] any peace we attain will still be fragile.

[He used to think they'd be able to dismantle Voltron. Go their separate ways. Now-- he thinks they might need to keep it active. As a threat. And doesn't that make them just as bad? Absolute power corrupts absolutely. He doesn't want to see himself, see any of them get that far. But he's not sure he'd trust anyone outside of their circle to pilot a lion, either.]

Have you given it any thought? What you want to do after.

[Keith blinks slowly at that, looking up at Shiro, then back to his plate.]

Hadn't really thought about it.

[His entire life has always been up in the air. He expects things to change at any second, so he doesn't bother planning. He isn't sure he even expects to live long given their current line of work.]

You could always open up an intergalactic pilot training academy.

[He says it off-handedly. Keith would be good at anything he decided to do, but the truth is-- if Shiro had a choice, he'd prefer he be somewhere more like--

... Well, more like this, actually. Speculatively,]

Or a farm.

Maybe.

[It's quiet, the way he holds himself now while he eats. Thinking about the future is just not something he's accustomed to.]

Focus on getting the universe safe first, I think.

[Gently,]

Goals help. Otherwise it's hard to know what you're fighting for.

[A beat.]

I've always known what I fight for.

[He just can't say it, not anymore. Not like he had. He's always fought for everyone's families, for their lives. But for himself? Shiro.]

[One of the reasons he's always gotten along with Keith is that he can hear the words beneath what's spoken. The things he's either afraid or ashamed to say.

(He doesn't want to think about how long I love you had been a drumbeat pulse beneath it all. Had he missed it, or simply overlooked its existence? He doesn't know.)

So he knows. And, briefly, looks away. Stirs up that food with a fork, even though he's not especially hungry. You have to eat to keep your strength. You have to have strength to protect people. The food isn't bad by any means, but he's lost his taste for it since being dead.

He hears what Keith doesn't say, and offers something back. Quiet, tentative. A little unsure of himself.]

I think I want to just find a quiet place. Somewhere like this.

...Yeah?

[His eyebrows go up a little at that. He always thought Shiro might be happy with something like that, but he didn't want to assume.]

This is nice... I think it'd be a nice way to live.

[It would be. He's lost his taste for-- being around people. Silence and solitude are such a large part of his life now. Being dead will do that to a man, he thinks. He smiles, a little wryly.]

Hard to work a farm with only one hand, though.

[He sets the fork down at the edge of the dish and flexes his hand.]

I kinda miss the Galra prosthetic.

Mm. Pretty sure Hunk and Pidge could work something together.

[He's trying not to think too hard about that farm comment. It's definitely something he'd enjoy doing, but...]

Anything I can do to help in the meantime?

[He smiles, shakes his head.]

Just having you here helps.

[-- and then a bit of a laugh.]

I'll be honest, though, you might have to do the dishes.

Kinda figured that'd be the case.

[There's the ghost of a smile on his face thinking about how... domestic this is. It's not at all what he expected when they crashed.]

Glad I can help. [And he means that, truly, sincerely. He is glad he can help.]

[Thunder is still cracking overhead. Rain is still falling outside the dome. They're still at the edge of every known universe, split off from their team, both of them battered and bruised in their own ways.

But they're together. They're alive. Shiro takes a final bite of the food and then leans back in his chair.]

I hope the others aren't too worried.

They might be.

[About you. He'd wondered while he was with the Blades if they missed him. He'd wondered again when he was on the whale. It's an odd thing for him, actually wanting to be wanted. But he'd spent more time with the six of them than he had anyone else in his life to this point. He hoped he was missed.]

'm sure they'd want to know where we've been. [His tone has the slight implication that he wouldn't tell them. Not about this place.]

[Shiro gives him a steady look. He isn't exactly in disagreement, but he wants to discuss the specifics of it all.]

Some of what we find here might be important. These books... Allura would be able to translate them.

[Shiro's right, of course. Allura would be thrilled to have this available to her.]

And Hunk would like the garden here.