whatsacactus | (no subject)

[He lets himself be lead along, and when Keith settles on the edge of the bed he's content to let himself be pulled there as well.

He brushes Keith's hair back from his forehead gently, tucking it behind his ear.]

Mm?

[Keith gently rests his head against Shiro's stomach while he thinks.]

...This is... nice. I'm not really used to this.

It's been a while for me too.

[It's a careful way of normalizing the lack of familiarity instead of drawing attention to what Keith seems to regard as an obvious deficiency.]

[He thumbs against Shiro's skin, just meaningless symbols.]

...I'll do my best.

[His best to protect Shiro. To make sure nothing happens to him again. To make him happy, like this. There are a lot of thoughts behind the four words he wishes he could impart without... actually saying them. The paladin brain bonding thing could probably work, but they don't have it here.]

I know.

[He stoops, and kisses the crown of Keith's hair.]

You don't have to tell me that, Keith. You always have.

[He lets his fingers drag along Shiro's back when he stoops down and smiles a little.]

I know. I just wanted to say it.

All right.

[He's not going to argue with that logic. Sometimes, you have to say things just because. He supposes that given how hard it is for Keith to articulate the things that really matter to him, this is kind of a big deal.

Still.

He pulls back slightly and, with one eyebrow raised:]

You gonna let me on the bed?

[His smile turns a little sly.]

Did I?

[But he will. He scoots over, making plenty of room for him and shifting some pillows around again.]

Come to think of it, I can't remember a time before the abyss I had free time like this.

Me neither.

[He sort of just sprawls facedown, his left arm reaching for some point of contact with Keith. He doesn't care what he touches.]

Saving the universe is a full-time job. Who knew, right?

[Shiro gets his thigh, and Keith lets the hand rest there, content with the contact. He reaches to pet through Shiro's still-damp hair.]

Not us. Just a couple of guys who wanted to fly in space.

Go big or go home, right?

[He huffs a quiet laugh, but when Keith starts petting at his hair he shifts a little, leaning into it with his face pressed down against the pillow.]

Don't know how to do it any other way.

[The way his fights back at the Garrison tended to blow up should be a testament to that. He wonders how much detail Shiro had been given to his incidents back then.]

Mm.

[Neither of them do. Shiro just... did it differently. Different lives. He never had to deal with pain and loneliness like Keith did until he was much older. It didn't shape him. What happened on the Galra prison ship was different. He could rationalize that, as much as it was so outside his scope of experience. He adapted. Survived. Not just the fights, not just the torture, but being alone. That was maybe the hardest part. The other aliens were afraid of him, none of them ever got close to him willingly. And the Galra treated him less like a person and more like a thing, a beast of burden they happened to find entertaining. It was dehumanizing.

But Keith had grown up that way. Different without ever knowing why. He knows full-well that Keith would insist that Shiro's experience was worse, but it wasn't. His experiences hurt like hell, but they didn't change the course or core of who he was. Keith's did. Maybe he would have grown up to be a sweet, gentle kid. Maybe he would have followed in his father's footsteps to become a firefighter. Maybe he'd still be home, a billion miles away from this place, and have suffered none of this.

Shiro's hand tightens, just a little, against Keith's thigh.]

It's not half bad. Having time to ourselves.

[When he was younger, he had wanted to be like his father. Take up a position that let him help save people, save lives. Then he'd seen how that ended. He wiped the notion of being a public servant to save lives from his thoughts entirely. Not if it meant leaving other people alone like he was.

His father had never mentioned Krolia much, just that she'd had to leave shortly after he was born. He never knew what for until he'd found her on that recovery mission. This life he thinks is maybe not the best either. But this one, he has the people he loves fighting alongside him. They can look out for each other.

He looks down at Shiro's hand when it squeezes just minutely against his thigh, then back at the back of Shiro's head.]

...Does it worry you?

Does what worry me?

[There's.... kind of a lot...........]

Having time like this. Not fighting.

[His fingers spasm closed, though he doesn't dig in against Keith's skin, just lets the motion draw his hand into a fist a whisper away from it.]

It's hard not to think about all the things that could be going wrong. I'm trying to-- trust Black. And the others.

[Keith only hesitates when Shiro draws his hand to a fist.

Being here is worrying him. It's stressing Shiro out, not having any connection with the others. Being here, alone with him, is not the best place for Shiro in the end.

He carefully rests his hand over Shiro's fist. He has to swallow down the instinctive I'm sorry. The problem is it leaves him at a loss of what he can say.]

....We'll find a way to check on them.

[But it doesn't change that no matter how relaxed they are or how nice this is, being here with Keith like this is not where Shiro wants to be.]

I know they're all right.

[He says that much with conviction, at least, and then shifts so he's facing Keith, specifically so he can lean in and kiss his thigh.]

The harder part is trying to convince myself it's okay to have a vacation.

I guess... but we can still figure something out if you need to.

[While they may not be able to get to Black with the weather, he's convinced the longer they stay here that there has to be a communicator somewhere. It doesn't make sense Zarkon would cut himself off entirely from his people, even before the war started.

A shiver goes up his spine at the kiss, swallowing hard.]

What do you wanna do until then? [Once again setting the ball just at the edge of Shiro's court and running.]

[He laughs a bit, resting his forehead against Keith's thigh.]

Oh no you don't. The shower was my idea. Now it's your turn.

[He knows exactly what he's doing, and has a fairly good idea of where Keith's going to go with that. He surprises himself by being ready to agree to it.]

Oh, I thought that was a necessity and not a bonding exercise idea.

[There's a slight smugness there, mussing Shiro's hair some. He knows what he wants to do. But he knows they're both still hurting. Shiro's leg is still bad, his own shoulder is in bad shape still. He doesn't want to do too much or rush in a way that could hurt Shiro further.]

Maybe ... I don't know. Kind of liking just laying here..

[That is. Actually--

His eyes widen a little in surprise, and then he just. Huffs a soft laugh and pushes himself up on one hand to kiss Keith properly. Maybe he's learning. Maybe he just trusts Shiro's word.]

I'm all for more of this. [He noses at Keith's neck, over that bitemark he'd left there.] Being here with you is the only reason I can stand being away from the others.

[He grins into the kiss, a hand around Shiro to keep him close.]

I'm-- Thanks. [He means that, even if Shiro doesn't understand what he's being thanked for. It helps ease out some of the more unsettling thoughts that had started in the silence.]

[He knows. Keith's always been an open book, for those that cared to read it. Shiro breaks the kiss, pressing their foreheads together briefly and then pushes Keith down onto the bed so he can

absolutely

use him as a damn pillow.]

Edited (invasion of the clones) 2018-06-27 23:53 (UTC)