whatsacactus | (no subject)

[Shiro's using his weight to keep him in place as he bites. He feels the skin under his teeth, and there's a noise that comes out of him he's carefully kept to himself even when they were all living in the castle still. He can tell it'll bruise later, even as Shiro is trying to sooth it. He'll probably be caught looking at it (admiring) it later.

Keith squeezes his hand taking deeper breaths. It's hard not to let this get his blood running hot and down below the hips. But respect. Not going further than kissing right now.]

Thanks. Really wanted that.

[Shiro pulls back enough to raise an eyebrow at him. Keith thanking him for-- marking him, essentially. Gently,]

You don't have to thank me.

[Keith watches him from under his own bangs.]

You also didn't have to do it at all.

I wanted to.

[He kisses his cheek gently, and then sits back, just... looking down at Keith for looking's sake.]

[Keith probably looks a mess under him, still bruised and bandages, flushed and breathing hard. Shiro's being kind to him again, making sure he knows that he wants to do this.

It really just makes Keith want to pull him down and wear him out to the bone.]

'm glad you wanted to, then.

[They both look like they've been through hell and come out the other side. But at least they did it together.

He laughs a little, soft and quiet and splays his hand against Keith's stomach, sliding it upward against his sternum, over his heart. That's another thing that makes him hurt for Keith-- thinking that things like simple kindness, the barest whisper of attention paid solely to him is worthy of thanks, or praise, or an expression of gratitude.]

We're in this together, Keith.

...Yeah. We are.

[Keith smiles softly at that. Shiro always making sure he knows they're even. They're working together, neither of them pulling more weight than the other. He moves his hand to Shiro's on his chest, thumbing against the knuckles in small circles. He wishes he could make Shiro feel as good as he does right now. Maybe with enough time. Maybe with enough patience and care, he can help Shiro feel like a person again. He doesn't deign to guess what Shiro feels, but... Sometimes it's not hard.]

Even if this - between us - doesn't work out... I'm still with you. Never give up on you.

I know.

[He doesn't think he could doubt that absolute if he tried. It's a universal constant. Gravity. Oxygen. Keith was always someone worth saving, and would have been even if it didn't blossom into the boundless devotion he's shown to Shiro from the word go.

He catches Keith's hand, brings it up to kiss the knuckles gently.]

But I appreciate your saying so.

[I appreciate you giving me a chance. He keeps it to himself, that thought. Partly because he knows it'll just become another back-and-forth, but also because he knows Shiro doesn't like it when he puts himself down however indirectly. And for whatever it's worth... He knows he doesn't have to know. He knows his worth. It's more than he was told at the Garrison.

There's an especially loud clap of thunder outside and Keith draws in a deep breath.]

Doesn't look like we're going out any time soon. Still wanna just kill time here in bed?

Mmm.

[He is still exhausted, he realizes, and keyed up and on edge and a million different things that culminate in him just not really knowing what he wants to do.

So he just. Flops into a sprawl across Keith, nuzzling down against the crook of his neck.]

You got any better ideas?

Mm. [He tries to wrap one arm around him, hand resting in Shiro's hair.]

Could try reading more of those books... Could explore the house more.

Could let me take care of you.

[He's thirsty and Shiro's the only glass of water in this desert, can't blame him for having a one track mind.]

[His exhalation is a little... wobbly.]

You're real keen on that, huh?

[He sort of holds his breath before letting it out in a long exhale. Not quite a sigh, but...

His voice is quiet, apologetic.]

I can stop.

I didn't say that.

[He pushes himself up with one hand, and then just sort of crosses his arm on Keith's chest (gently) and supports his chin on his forearm to look down at him.]

I just don't want you to feel like your only value comes from what you can do for me. [Soft,] The love's there first.

[Because at the end of the day, Shiro's never really needed the physical.]

[It's confusing to think someone doesn't need physical attention to know they're loved. Words are easy to hear people say. Words don't account for action. Words can easily be forgotten, or twisted, or misunderstood. Action is undeniable.

Action is something he understands more than words. Shiro was just the first one to match words to his actions and mean it.

Keith sighs through his nose, brushing Shiro's forelock out of his face, trailing along his brow until he can cup his cheek.]

Don't know if you ever noticed, but I'm not... Really good at words. Doing things, I'm good at.

['Really good at words' you don't say. But Shiro just tips his head against Keith's palm, kissing his fingertips.]

You aren't good with smalltalk, Keith. And you don't have to be - you've always had the right words when they matter.

[Not just to him, but to everyone. Keith doesn't see himself as a leader, but Shiro does. Always has.]

But if you-- want to show me.

[He wanted to take things slow. For Keith's benefit. For the same reason that Keith was trying to go slow for him. Maybe he should just... let the chips fall where they may. They've never been conventional. Why start now?]

Then you have my permission.

[It's the opportunity he'd been hoping for the last hour or so. But now that it's presented, he has a hard time making himself move forward to do it.

Something about Shiro resting on his chest there is too comfortable to want to disturb.

Not only that, but 'you have my permission'. Something about it rubs him wrong though he can't put his finger on why.

He thumbs along Shiro's lip and watches him.]

I will. When the time's right.

All right.

[He isn't the least bit put out. He meant it when he said he's just... happy being here. He does haul himself off Keith, though, slotting himself in against his side. Between him and the door.

(It was what he did with Matt and Sam. The only way he could think to protect them. The only way he can protect Keith now, if it came to that.)

Then it's just a matter of tracing nonsense symbols on his torso, fingers featherlight against his skin.]

[He shifts with Shiro, accommodating for letting him against his side. This is... nice. It's nice in a way he isn't used to. This is Shiro, though, he should expect nice. He's always been kind to Keith, and this isn't an exception.

The touches make his skin jump a little, bringing him down easy from the more risque thoughts he'd had at the start.]

Shiro, what... do you like? For stuff like that.

[He mulls it over for a while. He wants to give Keith a good answer, and an honest one. But ultimately...]

I really don't know.

[He knows what he doesn't like more than what he does. He's always been-- flexible.]

I guess... as long as everyone's happy and enjoying themselves, I never really cared much about the specifics. I mean, I like oral sex, [leave it to Shiro to use the clinical term for it] - giving and receiving - [when he says 'giving' he lets his hand drift a little lower on Keith's stomach, brushing a thumb past his iliac crest. Not quite suggestive, but-- close.] but it's not mandatory for me to have a good time.

Mmm.

[Keith's eyes close with that touch and lets his thoughts linger a bit. When he finally moves, it's just to lean a little to kiss Shiro's chin.]

'm good at giving. Can't say I've ever been on the receiving end.

[But he likes what he likes. It's the most open he's been about his private life with anyone, and even that's still vague.]

[Well, way to make Shiro instantly annoyed at all your apparently selfish former lovers, Keith. His expression twists into something briefly troubled, and then he shakes his head.]

Do you want to change that?

[He has Keith's attention with that. His eyes open again, eyebrows high and watching his face.]

...You'd want to do that?

[wow yep, still mad. He's realizing that when Keith said he'd like to be on his knees, he meant it explicitly as an act of service rather than one of pleasure, and that-- his breath catches on his ribs in a painful throb, and he pushes himself up until he's sitting. Specifically so he can look at Keith directly. Gently,]

Keith. Of course I would.

[Keith is still watching him, almost wary now. The times he'd done this sort of thing before, it was always quick, hushed, and quiet. He enjoyed doing it, but it doesn't mean he ever thought about it being the other way around. The Garrison had tight schedules; he never got the chance.

He carefully reaches up to stroke his cheek, then sits up to get arms around him. As much as he filled out and grew up those two years away, he's still thin compared to Shiro's bulk.]

Then.. whatever you want.

[Shiro's dealt with far worse in his last few years than Keith has his entire life. Shiro deserves to make choices himself, especially matters like this.]