whatsacactus | the clone lives

[ He doesn't intend to, doesn't deserve to but as much fun as that argument would be to have, he's certainly not going to try and have it. Pick your battles, even if you would really not rather have any at all. They're moving too slow to get there to warn them but Shiro doesn't want to find out what happens if Keith tries to teleport them but it takes too much out of him. ]

No.

[ Even now he can hear the strain in Keith's voice and hates how it instantly translates into weakness, and the knowledge that he could kill him, most likely, if he really, really tried. It may not be easy but it'd be possible, and Haggar would be so proud of him. She would be so pleased if he just -- ]

Don't risk it.

[ Instead, he tears himself open to Black, letting her prowl through his mind and fill up all the places where Haggar isn't, cutting through her like a hot knife through butter. It won't last, but it's enough for him to give her a push, letting her use him to teleport them forward so Keith doesn't have to. Better he's the weaker one. His eyes aren't open so he can't see where they end up, but he feels the jerk of his stomach as Black uses him. ]

[The breath gets knocked out of him when he feels the shift and then the surge forward. Even if he'd only done it once, it's unmistakable what it is. Black doesn't confirm it, her attention is elsewhere and that's all he needs for confirmation.

But Shiro told him not to risk teleporting. There is some part of the Shiro that Keith fought for still there.

He doesn't have the moment to even ask. They come to a stop an eternity later. He jolts forward with the stop, gasping loudly from the seat. How did Shiro know to do that? Or did Black encourage it? He isn't sure.]

Shiro, you-- You got us here?

[He looks out and there they are, the Castle in front of them and looking like it's fine. The pop into his comm tells him they're alive enough. They'll work on docking and getting out, but he tells them first he has Shiro. He promises to explain everything, but to please give them some room when they get there.]

[ There's something else when Black reaches out to him. Something that prickles along his consciousness and that he ought to know or understand but can't for some reason. Like trying to look at stars when dealing with a city; if he looks too close the hints vanish but he catches them from the corner of his eye.

Whatever it is, it's why Black will allow him to pilot her but it's clear he's not first or second choice by any means. At least it worked, even if he's not entirely certain how it happened.

The Castle is still there too, against the odds. Pidge had managed to override it somehow and saved all of them. The relief that hits him drowns out the rest of Haggar's influence for a moment and he's able to lift his head and stare out to see the Castle right there. Failure had never felt so relieving. ]

...Apparently.

[Thank you he whispers to Black in his mind. She knew where to take them, got them there safe.

They dock, and Keith doesn't get up immediately. It takes everything in him to pry his fingers off the controls. Sits for another minute getting his breath. Each individual bruise, every cut, every burn and slash he got is present and accounted for. The burn on his cheek is the worst as he gets up.

Keith stops in front of Shiro, waiting before holding his hand out.]

They'll be out of the way when we go in.

[ The Castle is whole and so is he. Two impossible things in one day.

The Castle is whole, and so is he, and Haggar's fury suddenly pounds at him as Keith rises up and offers him a hand. Victory or death: the saying had been beaten into him over, and over, and over again. He wasn't victorious: all of the paladins yet lived, but so does he.

The impulse is too much to fight the moment he so much as looks at Keith; there's no time to stop himself. With a jolt, he's kicking himself up and throwing himself against Keith's knees to take him down, groping to choke him with his only remaining hand. ]

[Almost an entire varga with no rest, no stopping, no time. Keith goes down like a sack of bricks with the lunge, crying out from the way his muscles spasm and the bruises hurt down to his bones. And in seconds, there's something strong and firm squeezing at his throat and he coughs trying to get them off, pull them loose, but he's so tired.

His voice is barely audible, broken up with everything.] Sh-shiro.... Don-n't do this.

[ The relief he feels at submitting is so good that he wants to collapse. It was so hard to fight her, next to impossible because she was so strong and he was only really half a person, on a good day. Now that he's not fighting her everything is so much easier, the aches fade away and everything is crystal clear again. Under him, Keith's bruised and dirtied, his hair longer than Shiro's used to, his shoulders broader. It's still new enough that he pauses for a moment, hand fitted to Keith's throat but not lowering any more.

Shiro, don't do this.

He'd warned Keith. He'd been worried about this exact scenario and not even Black thrashing in his mind is enough to shake his grasp despite the exhaustion tugging at him. Victory or death. Shiro grits his teeth and tries to fight, but just feels his fingers clench down harder. He can't stop, it's too hard to stop but desperately, he casts a look around the small cabin. He can't choke Keith and defend himself missing an arm like this, but the word are too hard to get out. ]

Iverson's fifth rule--

[ He chokes it out through the press of Haggar's influence blanketing him, willing Keith to remember the spiel Iverson gave them on their first day which ranged from one to ten, with five being: never leave yourself open to attack. ]

[He'd hated it at the time, those years at the Garrison. He'd stayed for Shiro, and to get a license to fly. But the rules, the military training, those he had never cared for. But for Shiro's sake, Keith had memorized them.

It's hazy now; it's been years and so much has happened. Also the hand slowly squeezing his windpipe shut.

Fifth, five five five. He feels Black's panic and rage around him, feels the moment he can't breathe and he tries to keep himself present.

Open to attack.

He carefully tries to form a fist without it being noticed. He only has the energy to do this once, and surprise to only make it happen once. He rears his hand back and slams it, aiming for the jaw.]

[ It hits, and Shiro's head gets snapped back. He doesn't fight it, the pain enough to shock him back into himself and allows him to return to fighting the real enemy: Haggar. He just hopes Keith has the sense to keep away right then. ]

Stay-- stay back.

[ Easier if he doesn't look at Keith despite how his instincts scream to never look away from an enemy and certainly don't let an enemy land a blow on you that knocks you off of them. Shuddering, he goes to his hand and knees, pressing his forehead to the cold metal of Black's floor, reaching out to Black's shut off to him now that they're back safe. ]

Knock me out or lock me in here but do it soon

[Keith is stunned for just a moment before he rolls over, coughing against the floor. His lungs burn, trying desperately to get air faster than his throat can stop hurting. He hears Shiro saying something to him, but there's a ringing in his ear that's blocking out everything.

He glances at Shiro across the cockpit from him now. He hadn't wanted to do that, that was Haggar taking advantage of a moment. So she still has some control over him, even here. He can't keep himself propped up long, his arms shaking holding him up. So he lays down, face against the cold metal.]

Fight it, Shiro... You have to fight it.

[ Magcuffs- there have to be magcuffs in here somewhere, just in case. He remembers storing a pair somewhere, not out of any worry about transporting criminals but more concerned with preparation. Truthfully he hadn't anticipated needing to use them on himself. ]

You pick -- the worst times to stop listening to me.

[ That's not the rage-filled killing machine, that's Shiro at his most exhausted with Keith not listening, the way he got during long Garrison shifts when he helped Keith study for exams or sneak into practice piloting because he had full access.

Groping for the cuffs, Shiro digs into a drawer, finds them and promptly fits one around his wrist and slams the other end to the wall, pinning him there with his arm unable to move. Finally, he slumps over, knowing it'll get uncomfortable soon but the relief at knowing he can't attack Keith right then is too much to bear. ]

Shiro--

[He'd missed Shiro rummaging around. But he has Keith's attention when he slams it into the wall. Keith tries to reach and stop him, but falls short. He doesn't have it in him to get that far, falling to the floor again.

There are tears in his eyes - from the pain, from the exhaustion, the blood, but more importantly, for hearing the Shiro that he never thought he'd hear again.]

I promise-- We'll help. W-we'll take care of this.

[ Keith better be able to get up because Shiro certainly can't move right now, and being trapped in Black with Haggar clawing at his consciousness is not how he wants to spend his time by any means. ]

Get out.

[ He can't bear to look at Keith, not when he glances up for just a moment and Keith is looking at him with wet eyes and a face bruised from what Shiro's done to him. His throat already threatens to purple and he can't imagine what it looks like under his armor. ]

Keith. Get out.

[Keith hears him and rests his head against the floor, his face scrunched. He can't let the team see him weak like this. If they see what's happened and blame Shiro, he couldn't bear it.

A breath.

Two breaths. A shuddery, wet exhale before he slowly moves his hands to prop himself up. Slowly push himself upright, then using the wall to lean and get to his feet. He starts moving to the exit, still leaning on the wall but stops at the door.]

I promise, Shiro. I won't give up on you.

[And then he's out. He knows someone reaches him because one minute he's falling down the ramp, the next he's leaning against someone. He explains that Shiro's in there. Don't go to him, Haggar is trying to control him. It's complicated. Shiro said he needed to stay there for now.

They don't have enough power in the ship while they repair it for Keith to use a pod. Coran and Allura are apologetic trying to help bandage him up. But Krolia's eye doesn't waver from him. She clearly has more questions and an idea of what happened.

It's days before he can go back to Black. Carefully, slowly walks up the ramp and stops at the door.]

[ They lock down the hangar and Pidge makes sure he can't break out. He doesn't have an arm to do anything with and the moment he tries anything suspicious, Black growls, low and threatening. She won't let him get away with anything and rather than threatened he's relieved. Pidge remotely deactivates the cuffs and Shiro has free reign of the hangar but can't leave it.

There's food that's stored away; bars and goo but Shiro's had worse. He can use the bathroom and shower, but mostly he sits in Black and tries to figure out whatever it is that he needs to do to get rid of her.

After a few days the bruises have only gotten worse; Shiro's black and blue, barely able to move though he knows he could if he had to; he's fought with broken bones before, though he's not sure if any are broken this time. It's a welcome weakness, though, because between exhaustion and the ache, when he hears footsteps he lifts his chin and watches Keith come up the ramp once the door slides open from Black welcoming him. It's as safe as he's going to get right now, even if he knows it's not really 'safe'. ]

Drop me on the nearest planet and go.

Edited 2018-06-17 06:33 (UTC)

[Keith wishes he could fix this. He wishes he could undo everything and make this right immediately. His mouth is steel but his eyes are soft, always are when Shiro's involved. Two years away and a fight to near-death didn't change that.]

We can't. We-- [His voice is still rough, his face bandaged and neck bruised. He still looks exhausted, like he still hasn't slept since they got here.]

We have to...evacuate the Castle. Grab whatever we can in the next varga and get away.

[He swallows, looking like he might fall over then reorients himself.]

Your things. What do I get.

[ His virus must still be holding the Castle down; Keith's walking like he's one big bruise and the bandages around his neck mean that he can't have used a pod, or if he had it fixed only the life-threatening items. Warily, he watches Keith, noting everything about him from the way he holds himself to how exhausted he seems. It's threat assessment and it takes everything not to throw himself forward and to try again. ]

I don't have anything.

[ His clothes, sure, but nothing else. Maybe that should have been one of the indicators. Where Lance would pick up knick-knacks, Pidge electronics or games, Hunk new recipes, Allura something shiny, Shiro hadn't...ever picked anything up. He had clothes, his weapons, and that was it. ]

I can't know where you're going. You have to leave me somewhere.

I-- Shiro, I told you. We weren't leaving you behind.

[Shiro still thinks that he can't do anything to help this. He feels that frustration build up just as easily as he can compartmentalize it. Set it aside, something else he'd learned while he was gone.

He leans his head against the wall, but still watching Shiro tiredly.]

It doesn't matter. We don't know where we're going yet anyway. We'll be back in a few minutes.

[He'll do a once over Shiro's room. Pick up an extra set of clothes. His mother was gathering what few Keith's things he'd left - his jacket and Blades armor. He isn't sure yet how he feels about Krolia staying in the lion with them, so he asks her to keep an eye on Hunk; she'd managed to bring peace to Keith's mind, she may could help the big guy. He has some of the food cases brought to Black, and his wolf, who doesn't seem to feel threatened by Shiro.]

[ They should but Shiro can't make them. The harder he fights the more Keith digs his heels in, Shiro knows how this works. He heard the lament of his teachers too often to not know it. It's just different to have that ridiculous stubbornness turned on him for the first time and he doesn't like it any more than he likes anything happening lately.

There's nothing to say in response, so he sits in Black, curled in a corner. When Keith comes back, he's maglocked himself to the wall again, watching him and the dog not unlike a caged animal looking out despite the fact he's done this to himself. Keith's dog doesn't seem to care; it hops up next to him and makes itself comfortable against Shiro, yawning hugely, falling asleep in a few moments. ]

Why are you leaving the Castle?

[ Pidge stopped the virus, hadn't she? ]

[He doesn't answer right away. He's too struck by his wolf sleeping on Shiro like she's always had this particular oversized pillow. Familiar. Maybe she'd gotten his memories too during those years of flashes. Keith can't help but smile a little.

But the question rings through his mind again and he takes up the pilot seat.]

We have to use it to close the rifts. Then it'll be gone.

[ The rifts. He'd heard mentions of them, what little he'd gleaned from the times when people came to gawk at him like a particularly interesting zoo animal. Shiro knows this isn't his fault, not really, but it also is. A wet nose presses against his ear before he can delve too hard into that particular train of thought, though, and he flinches, not quite able to move away from her.

Krolia's something else altogether but Shiro can only deal with one thing at a time and right now that's being cuffed to a wall and not looking at either of them, trying to focus on the Castle being destroyed as if that'll satiate some of the bloodlust from Haggar's influence.

It's easy to doze off; he hasn't slept well this whole time and has only eaten enough to keep himself going but not enough to get his strength up. He needs to be as easy to subdue as possible. Tiredly, and knowing Keith won't: ]

Should leave me on it.

You know I won't. [It's soft, the way it comes out. The in the same way he watches Shiro, and a little sad. Keith checks status with the others over comms, and it sounds like they're ready to go. There's no turning back from this. They're destroying their home, the last remaining piece of the Altea that Coran and Allura had left.

Keith takes a breath and starts piloting Black out of her hangar. They don't look back at first. Have to get out far enough to be out of range. But the explosion is massive no matter what. He hadn't realized how much attachment he'd had to the Castle until he watched it explode. A little chip of his heart breaking, along with so many others from the last two days.

Hunk gathers the small diamond left behind, and they begin flying. Aimless for a bit, so much that Keith almost falls asleep a few times. He's lucky the others talk then, jerking him back when they ask him a question.]

You holding up okay back there?

I know.

[ It doesn't sound like he's proud or pleased, it sounds like he's disappointed. He doesn't look up - doesn't need to, to feel the weight of eyes on him, no matter whose they are. He's resigned to it, this, whatever happens. He's too weak to do anything about what Haggar wants from him and worse, the spell pushes at the edges of his mind like it's biding its time.

It, like Haggar, understands patience. If he's stronger, if they trust him, he has a better shot at success, doesn't he? So he stays quiet, squeezes his eyes shut and doesn't think about what it means when Black rocks from the explosion.

Instead, he debates whether he ought to answer the question and does because Keith gets determined when he wants to. ] It isn't me you ought to worry about.

You keep saying that, but I'm still here.

[There's some of his old cockiness back in that, just under the surface. It's more at Haggar, not at Shiro. She desperately wanted him out of the picture, yet here he is. Still alive and leading the team.

There's movement on the comms - someone spotted a planet just up ahead. They don't give coordinates or a name - Keith's request per Shiro's concern - but it's pointed out on his screen which direction to go. He swallows, looks at Shiro, then gets into pilot them there.]

...I explained everything to the others. We'll see what we can do when we land.

[ For how long?

Shiro's weakness won't last forever and Shiro doesn't know if all of them would stand a shot against him, realistically. He's fought larger and stronger creatures before and come out successful because he knows how to manipulate things to his advantage. This isn't a normal battlefield but he knows too much about them to risk being trusted.

Looking at the blue-black of the dog's fur, Shiro buries his hand into the thickness of it and doesn't calculate how far or fast they could have flown from where they were, doesn't think about star maps or locations, he focuses on the fur and the hope that if he does attack, they can take him down quickly enough that no one gets hurt.

Landing jostles them and Shiro curls in on himself, nausea swamping him until they're settled. ]

Talk to them out there. You can't risk it.

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