whatsacactus | the clone lives

[Keith hears him and rests his head against the floor, his face scrunched. He can't let the team see him weak like this. If they see what's happened and blame Shiro, he couldn't bear it.

A breath.

Two breaths. A shuddery, wet exhale before he slowly moves his hands to prop himself up. Slowly push himself upright, then using the wall to lean and get to his feet. He starts moving to the exit, still leaning on the wall but stops at the door.]

I promise, Shiro. I won't give up on you.

[And then he's out. He knows someone reaches him because one minute he's falling down the ramp, the next he's leaning against someone. He explains that Shiro's in there. Don't go to him, Haggar is trying to control him. It's complicated. Shiro said he needed to stay there for now.

They don't have enough power in the ship while they repair it for Keith to use a pod. Coran and Allura are apologetic trying to help bandage him up. But Krolia's eye doesn't waver from him. She clearly has more questions and an idea of what happened.

It's days before he can go back to Black. Carefully, slowly walks up the ramp and stops at the door.]

[ They lock down the hangar and Pidge makes sure he can't break out. He doesn't have an arm to do anything with and the moment he tries anything suspicious, Black growls, low and threatening. She won't let him get away with anything and rather than threatened he's relieved. Pidge remotely deactivates the cuffs and Shiro has free reign of the hangar but can't leave it.

There's food that's stored away; bars and goo but Shiro's had worse. He can use the bathroom and shower, but mostly he sits in Black and tries to figure out whatever it is that he needs to do to get rid of her.

After a few days the bruises have only gotten worse; Shiro's black and blue, barely able to move though he knows he could if he had to; he's fought with broken bones before, though he's not sure if any are broken this time. It's a welcome weakness, though, because between exhaustion and the ache, when he hears footsteps he lifts his chin and watches Keith come up the ramp once the door slides open from Black welcoming him. It's as safe as he's going to get right now, even if he knows it's not really 'safe'. ]

Drop me on the nearest planet and go.

Edited 2018-06-17 06:33 (UTC)

[Keith wishes he could fix this. He wishes he could undo everything and make this right immediately. His mouth is steel but his eyes are soft, always are when Shiro's involved. Two years away and a fight to near-death didn't change that.]

We can't. We-- [His voice is still rough, his face bandaged and neck bruised. He still looks exhausted, like he still hasn't slept since they got here.]

We have to...evacuate the Castle. Grab whatever we can in the next varga and get away.

[He swallows, looking like he might fall over then reorients himself.]

Your things. What do I get.

[ His virus must still be holding the Castle down; Keith's walking like he's one big bruise and the bandages around his neck mean that he can't have used a pod, or if he had it fixed only the life-threatening items. Warily, he watches Keith, noting everything about him from the way he holds himself to how exhausted he seems. It's threat assessment and it takes everything not to throw himself forward and to try again. ]

I don't have anything.

[ His clothes, sure, but nothing else. Maybe that should have been one of the indicators. Where Lance would pick up knick-knacks, Pidge electronics or games, Hunk new recipes, Allura something shiny, Shiro hadn't...ever picked anything up. He had clothes, his weapons, and that was it. ]

I can't know where you're going. You have to leave me somewhere.

I-- Shiro, I told you. We weren't leaving you behind.

[Shiro still thinks that he can't do anything to help this. He feels that frustration build up just as easily as he can compartmentalize it. Set it aside, something else he'd learned while he was gone.

He leans his head against the wall, but still watching Shiro tiredly.]

It doesn't matter. We don't know where we're going yet anyway. We'll be back in a few minutes.

[He'll do a once over Shiro's room. Pick up an extra set of clothes. His mother was gathering what few Keith's things he'd left - his jacket and Blades armor. He isn't sure yet how he feels about Krolia staying in the lion with them, so he asks her to keep an eye on Hunk; she'd managed to bring peace to Keith's mind, she may could help the big guy. He has some of the food cases brought to Black, and his wolf, who doesn't seem to feel threatened by Shiro.]

[ They should but Shiro can't make them. The harder he fights the more Keith digs his heels in, Shiro knows how this works. He heard the lament of his teachers too often to not know it. It's just different to have that ridiculous stubbornness turned on him for the first time and he doesn't like it any more than he likes anything happening lately.

There's nothing to say in response, so he sits in Black, curled in a corner. When Keith comes back, he's maglocked himself to the wall again, watching him and the dog not unlike a caged animal looking out despite the fact he's done this to himself. Keith's dog doesn't seem to care; it hops up next to him and makes itself comfortable against Shiro, yawning hugely, falling asleep in a few moments. ]

Why are you leaving the Castle?

[ Pidge stopped the virus, hadn't she? ]

[He doesn't answer right away. He's too struck by his wolf sleeping on Shiro like she's always had this particular oversized pillow. Familiar. Maybe she'd gotten his memories too during those years of flashes. Keith can't help but smile a little.

But the question rings through his mind again and he takes up the pilot seat.]

We have to use it to close the rifts. Then it'll be gone.

[ The rifts. He'd heard mentions of them, what little he'd gleaned from the times when people came to gawk at him like a particularly interesting zoo animal. Shiro knows this isn't his fault, not really, but it also is. A wet nose presses against his ear before he can delve too hard into that particular train of thought, though, and he flinches, not quite able to move away from her.

Krolia's something else altogether but Shiro can only deal with one thing at a time and right now that's being cuffed to a wall and not looking at either of them, trying to focus on the Castle being destroyed as if that'll satiate some of the bloodlust from Haggar's influence.

It's easy to doze off; he hasn't slept well this whole time and has only eaten enough to keep himself going but not enough to get his strength up. He needs to be as easy to subdue as possible. Tiredly, and knowing Keith won't: ]

Should leave me on it.

You know I won't. [It's soft, the way it comes out. The in the same way he watches Shiro, and a little sad. Keith checks status with the others over comms, and it sounds like they're ready to go. There's no turning back from this. They're destroying their home, the last remaining piece of the Altea that Coran and Allura had left.

Keith takes a breath and starts piloting Black out of her hangar. They don't look back at first. Have to get out far enough to be out of range. But the explosion is massive no matter what. He hadn't realized how much attachment he'd had to the Castle until he watched it explode. A little chip of his heart breaking, along with so many others from the last two days.

Hunk gathers the small diamond left behind, and they begin flying. Aimless for a bit, so much that Keith almost falls asleep a few times. He's lucky the others talk then, jerking him back when they ask him a question.]

You holding up okay back there?

I know.

[ It doesn't sound like he's proud or pleased, it sounds like he's disappointed. He doesn't look up - doesn't need to, to feel the weight of eyes on him, no matter whose they are. He's resigned to it, this, whatever happens. He's too weak to do anything about what Haggar wants from him and worse, the spell pushes at the edges of his mind like it's biding its time.

It, like Haggar, understands patience. If he's stronger, if they trust him, he has a better shot at success, doesn't he? So he stays quiet, squeezes his eyes shut and doesn't think about what it means when Black rocks from the explosion.

Instead, he debates whether he ought to answer the question and does because Keith gets determined when he wants to. ] It isn't me you ought to worry about.

You keep saying that, but I'm still here.

[There's some of his old cockiness back in that, just under the surface. It's more at Haggar, not at Shiro. She desperately wanted him out of the picture, yet here he is. Still alive and leading the team.

There's movement on the comms - someone spotted a planet just up ahead. They don't give coordinates or a name - Keith's request per Shiro's concern - but it's pointed out on his screen which direction to go. He swallows, looks at Shiro, then gets into pilot them there.]

...I explained everything to the others. We'll see what we can do when we land.

[ For how long?

Shiro's weakness won't last forever and Shiro doesn't know if all of them would stand a shot against him, realistically. He's fought larger and stronger creatures before and come out successful because he knows how to manipulate things to his advantage. This isn't a normal battlefield but he knows too much about them to risk being trusted.

Looking at the blue-black of the dog's fur, Shiro buries his hand into the thickness of it and doesn't calculate how far or fast they could have flown from where they were, doesn't think about star maps or locations, he focuses on the fur and the hope that if he does attack, they can take him down quickly enough that no one gets hurt.

Landing jostles them and Shiro curls in on himself, nausea swamping him until they're settled. ]

Talk to them out there. You can't risk it.

I know.

[Keith almost stops to reach for him. Doesn't let himself get too close and watches him; he wants desperately to fix this here and now. Before he can act on it, he turns his head down and walks out to greet the others.

Allura thinks she may have a way after hearing what Keith described of the astral plane. About Shiro's spirit still being there from their fight with Zarkon. They just need to get Shiro out here.

Keith swallows hard and asks Krolia to help. He's in no shape to try and fight Shiro again, but he doesn't trust anyone else to get him.]

We're bringing you out. We still don't really know where we are, and we already know the plan for you. We don't have to say anything once you're out there.

[He kneels down slow, ready to jump but he only wants to grab Shiros hand while he undoes the magcuff. Krolia is there with the dog, watching him close.]

[ This is a terrible idea, but he has no way to neutralize himself and they aren't taking this seriously. Not really. Keith's in more danger than he realizes as injured as he is but the moment that Keith undoes the cuff, nothing happens. There's no vicious push to end him, no press of Haggar at his mind. There's nothing more than there was a moment ago up until he looks up too soon and sees the bruises and thinks maybe, he could.

The motion to stand is aborted halfway; Shiro's legs go out from under him and Krolia has to step in, so Keith doesn't bear the full weight and get thrown off balance.

Krolia fits a massive hand under what's left of his arm, Shiro realizes that maybe this is the safest option. He's aching, barely able to move without flinching and the exhaustion wears at him. This isn't a fight forced to survive, there's no adrenaline just Haggar's influence which can't beat out pure exhaustion and his body's inability to do the most basic of tasks.

Together, they get him out onto the grass in front of Black and Shiro keeps his eyes squeezed shut as tightly as he can, trembling with how hard he's holding back, fighting himself despite knowing he wouldn't put up a decent fight. Keith's hand feels larger, more solid in his own too-tight grip, a product of his time away and he doesn't know how to deal with that, either. ]

[Keith watches. Shushes gently trying to put Shiro at east. It's probably hurting more than he's helping, feeling Shiro grip his hand while his other supports under his head.

Then Allura steps away. Keith watches her step to Black's muzzle and a familiar purple light weaves around Black's crevices and seams, making their way to Allura's hands. Keith swallows and keeps himself steady when she comes back.

He doesn't know what she's doing, but she seems to. Allura takes Shiro's head in both her hands and everyone is silent as they wait.]

[ They don't talk and Shiro doesn't fight them, forcing himself to stay under control as long as possible which he's only marginally successful with.

Allura comes forward and Shiro hopes for a moment that she's come to her senses and is going to end this where it is, but no. She's touching Black and he feels a flicker at the edge of his consciousness before it's gone and then abruptly, she's in front of him, taking his head into her hands and he has a moment to think no before the white-hot purple burns out everything else. ]

[ Shiro wakes up in stages, first aware of the ache of his whole body, second, aware that he's being cradled both by someone's hands on his head and another pair split: on his chest, and the nape of his neck. Awareness floods back to him bit by bit - attacking Keith, setting the Castle up to explode, everything this other him did while he was trapped in Black hoping that he could find a way out, and through all of it: Keith.

Blinking the blur out of his vision, Shiro sits up, wobbles, and melts into the hard armor of Keith's chest plate. ]

You found me.

[Shiro comes up coughing and then falling against him. He knows the voice anywhere.

He smiles and gives Shiro's shoulder a gentle, weak squeeze.]

We're glad you're back.

[He fights to stay upright. His back is wobbling but he has to keep Shiro up as long as they're out here. It takes every ounce of restraint not to kiss his forehead; he doesn't know how much Shiro remembers or even how he feels. There's so much they have to talk about.]

I've got you. Just rest.

[ Breathing hurts and he's aware of the beating the two of them gave each other in a wholly new way that this other him wasn't really able to appreciate with how distracted he was. Right now, he's not overwhelmed with Haggar, not with Allura's magic and Black's still echoing through him. How the hell Keith is still upright is a goddamned mystery given that Shiro feels like he's going to pass out at any moment.

Around them, everyone is talking excitedly and a wet noise pushes into his hand, Shiro blankly petting whatever it is as he leans into Keith and tries to sort through everything he can remember but all it boils down into is: ]

We need to find somewhere to rest.

[ Did they check Keith over fully? Shiro felt the ache of him even through the astral plane where he was trapped; how many times had he nearly lost Keith? And now, here he was, battered and bruised and he couldn't do anything about it. ]

We will. Coran and Krolia are already looking for a habited planet we can stop at.

[Keith can't help but smile. Here Shiro is, safe and sound again. His dog getting in on the action. His family here, together, whole. Sure, Shiro's missing an arm, and he may be a little off balance for a while, but they can make him a new one. After they get to Earth probably, but they can do it.

We're going back to Earth, Shiro.

[ An inhabited planet is one thing; they ought to have an easy enough time with that, but whether or not it's in the Alliance, and whether or not they'll help is another thing. Shiro wants to ask just how they intend to do any of this but knows better; he's in no shape to judge or help and they've done well enough without him so far.

Behind him, Allura rises up and takes her hands from him, leaving him simply leaning against Keith, savoring the rise and fall of his chest plate underneath. He lived. Against the odds, Keith lived, even if they're both worse for wear. We're going back to earth, he says and Shiro doesn't have it in him to fully process that at this moment. He nods, but one catastrophe at a time and his mind is like swiss cheese right now. ]

I think you'll have to pilot.

I figured. [He looks up at Black watching them.] Thank you.

[He feels a warm rumble in his mind as acknowledgement. She understands how important Shiro is to him. Keith sighs slowly, scratching at Shiro's hairline against his neck.]

We need to get you back in the lion. Hunk and Lance found there are sleeping quarters in there. You can sleep while we fly. All right?

[ Stating the obvious, but he doesn't care. He presses thanks back across the bond to Black as well, but doesn't follow the thread that goes from her to Keith, not trusting himself with that just yet. He's still a danger to them; Allura may have burnt out the majority of Haggar's influence but he wasn't sure she was gone entirely. There was still a chance he was a spy however unintentionally, so he turns his face into his chest, and tries not to shiver at how good that hand against his neck feels. He only has one arm to use; the other doesn't move when he tries it only for him to abruptly recall why.

His remaining one winds around Keith's waist to hold him up a little more securely. ] Yeah. Alright.

[ He doesn't have it in him to argue but he does catch Keith by the arm once he's sitting heavily on the fold-out beds that make up the back of Black. ]

You should, too. Black can handle auto-pilot.

[Four vargas now, and he's only had a few hours of sleep here and there. Krolia cant pilot this, and Shiro couldn't do it the state he was in. Yet he still takes the time to make sure Shiro has everything he needs here. Water, some dry rations. The bed set up and ready.

Shiro gets his arm, and he stops.]

I'll be fine. We're not going far.

[Still no direction, no names. Just a vague idea of distance. It's not that he's afraid of Shiro. It's just general caution now. But he turns his arm, gripping Shiro's gently.]

I promise. I'll rest once we stop somewhere for more than a couple of hours.

[The heavy bags under his eyes and the way he sways a moment are a testament to how bad off he really is.]

[ The consideration doesn't go unnoticed despite how out of it Shiro is. Keith comes first; that hasn't changed. The world shifts in and out briefly; he's aware of moving and then he's sitting on the cot and no one else but the dog and Keith are around, food and water nearby, and Keith's gripping him in turn. ]

Keith-

[ What can he say, though? How many times did he lead them somewhere, anywhere, when he wasn't at his best? When Lance was injured and Sendak was on the ship, Shiro'd still given orders, still done missions. Krolia nods at the two of them, eyes flicking to her son and Shiro figures that has to be enough. She' watching out for him; he can trust that.

He can't fault Keith for doing the same and can't trust himself to give them, so he curls onto his side on the cot, heavily, and promptly loses time, flickering in and out between dozing and memories of what this...other him had done. ]

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