whatsacactus | (no subject)

Oh-- Uh. Sure.

[The animals all seem okay with his presence here - and by extension, Shiro too. Not a bad thing necessarily. Just feel worse when he has to kill any of them for meat later. But he won't think about it now.

For now, he'll watch Shiro go into the store room. Look up at the roof of the barrier, following it down to where it meets the earth. Curious, he gets up to see. He starts with the ground, seeing where the barrier actually goes into the ground, supposedly making it a sphere rather than just a dome. Then the lines up, each time the weather hits the barrier, a blue impact light rippling out against a purple-red sky beyond.

It's beautiful really. When he started really taking part in his studies, actually doing well in the sim tests, this is what he thought about. Seeing things like this in the universe.]

Wow...

[He checks on what animals don't seem too skittish - some are nestled into corners, under tables. Others are already fast asleep, tucked together in little balls of fur and fluff. Shiro makes sure that none of them seem to be in any especial distress, stopping to offer calming words (it's all about tone, with animals, never the words. he tells one about article 18a on page 109 of the Garrison's basic flight manual, which pertains to personal grooming) to the ones that seem upset or anxious, but honestly-- it seems like they've all been through this before, regularly enough that it's become rote.

By the time he ventures back out to where Keith is, the sky is awash with light. Brilliant flashes of violet cut starkly across the sky, arcing into the barrier where it explodes with energy. Some rain does penetrate, but it's sluiced into a fine mist. Probably intentional, since the barrier very well could keep things out, or maybe it's the age. Either way, it's almost pleasant and Shiro tips his head back towards the sky, eyes closed. Just listening for the thunder, the build and swell of its crescendo crash.

He can feel the pulse of electricity in the air just before it impacts the barrier. Even with his eyes closed, the bright light of the flare is obvious, and the echoing thunder a resounding denouement.

He's smiling by the time he opens his eyes, and when he looks over at Keith--

The world stands still. A little. He's still got the small griffon-like creature tucked in against his chest, and he's obviously keeping it calm. The one with the hooves has seen fit to lay down and tuck itself against him, butting up against his knees. And Keith looks--

Shiro's seen him happy. Seen him absolutely livid. He's seen him upset and grieving, and suspicious and determined and hurting so bad he can barely breathe, but he hasn't ever seen him look content. Not like this. Not ever before.

It's one of those moments he knows he'll remember forever. One where he wishes he were an artist, just to capture it.

Instead, he makes his way over to where he's standing, and ends up standing a whisper away, shoulder-to-shoulder, watching the sky.]

[The small sounds of the rain hitting is hypnotic. Just the right sound that puts his running mind at ease. He scratches under the little griffon's chin, content to stand there and watch. The pulses before the lightning has his hair standing on end, but he smiles a little.

Even more when he feels Shiro there next to him.]

Never would've seen something like this on Earth.

[The desert had its fair share of marvels, but nothing quite like this.]

It really is amazing.

[His leg is aching, and he's not sure he wants to keep standing so after a moment's consideration he just eases himself down to the ground. The creature with the hooves gives him a little questioning bleat but doesn't actually protest his proximity, and Shiro's careful to stay clear of its feet. Docile or not, he doesn't want to take any chances with his safety or Keith's wellbeing.]

You know... when they chose me for the mission on Kerberos, this was the sort of thing I hoped I'd see. It's really something, that we've come this far and seen-- ['survived'] so much.

Mm. You really were interested in seeing other planets more than anything else.

[Being a pilot is skill, instinct, but also that sense of adventure. The wanting to see new, unknown things. It was something Keith had in him too. He looks down at the larger creature against his legs, whispering a little calming nothing to it.

This is everything. Peace and calm, nature all around them, sharing a view like this with Shiro... Maybe Black knew what she was doing after all.]

Wish it all could've been like this.

[There was a telescope in the house he grew up with. He and his grandfather always had made time for meteor showers. Shiro has spent his entire life looking skyward. Other planets-- it used to be a kid's dream. Now it's an adult's reality.

(He died up there. Amidst the stars. The black of space. Surrounded by friends. This body breathes, its heart beats, but the mind remembers. Not the worst way to go. Not the worst way to come back.)

Soft,]

I don't. Good or bad, we're here.

[He nods.] We are.

[He looks from the barrier to the animals around him, to Shiro.]

If I had to be stuck here, I'm glad it's with you.

[Even after he messed up before. Even if he's part-Galra, that did everything they could against Shiro and their sort-of-Paladin-family. Even if he's probably just a kid brother to him.]

Not anyone else I would've wanted to be here with.

[I love you. But he'd taken Shiro's distance the same thing he's always taken what Shiro tells him - quiet acceptance. The only thing Keith ever tried to change his mind on was his own worth, and that one Shiro always fought him on.

He still does it. Not as badly as he used to. Progress.

Shiro smiles a bit, reaches out to pat the side of that hoofed beast.]

Likewise.

[It's gently said, and he doesn't speak again for several seconds. When he does, that smile has turned into an impish grin.]

Although if Hunk wanted to turn up and turn all this produce into some kind of gourmet entree, you know-- I probably wouldn't protest too much. Just saying.

You know, I could cook some of this.

[He may not have Hunk's natural knack for winning food combinations, but he can at least feed himself and not hate the taste. The larger creature sort of huffs at him, a quick exhale of breath before settling again.]

...What else do you want to do when we get back to Earth? You only mentioned the diner.

Oh, I know. I have every faith in you.

[Which goes without saying, but he does it anyway. Keith needs to hear it. He needed that more than anything - affirmation. Maybe he needs it less than he did when Shiro first met him, but it's an old habit.]

As for Earth... I don't know.

[He glances downwards, tearing his eyes away from the lightshow above them.]

I have a hard time feeling like I'll... belong there. Earth isn't my home anymore. It hasn't been for years.

[This body has never set foot on it. Hell, it probably isn't even fully human. The Galra wanted it to pass as Shiro, but his friends' love for him had been their undoing. He doesn't think they ever actually put the clone under a full body scan. It walked and talked and quacked like a Shiro, therefore-- He's sure that Haggar had enough of his genetic material to clone him, but the Druids had picked at him so much, they'd-- they'd done so much, why would they stop at what modifications they did when they had an army of clones to dissect? To play with? Maybe he is part Galra, underneath it all. Maybe he's something else.

He has to fight down bile and a wave of absolute dread that tries to shudder its way across his shoulderblades. No. No, he does not need to be thinking about this, not right now.]

[Keith had turned to look back around them, understanding that likely far more than Shiro would guess. Not belonging on Earth was ...a feeling he'd fought for years until he literally wasn't on Earth anymore. Now he knew his place.

Shiro got quiet though. Normally he enjoys their moments of shared silence, but this one left him uneasy. One look at Shiro told him everything he needed.]

Shiro--

[He does't risk touching him; no idea where Shiro went to, what he's thinking that second. Safer to not and try to call to him.]

Shiro, stay with me here.

[He's present. In the moment. He's not that much in his own head. Being dead with nothing but his own issues and Black's calm, ageless mien had given him some perspective.]

I'm all right.

[It's a reflexive comment, he follows it up with a slight upwards quirk at one corner of his mouth. Ah, hell. Might as well joke about it. He's earned that much.]

Nothing like dying and being put back into a clone of your own body to make you realize no one on Earth will really share your life experience.

[He's relieved, if a little saddened by that. At least that wasn't too far for him.

But at Shiro's self-humor, Keith sort of smiles.]

Yeah... Kinda like finding out you're the only half alien on your planet because your mom crash landed and met your dad.

We're a pair, huh?

[He gets to his feet slowly, dusts himself off. As beautiful as this all is, he just-- wants to be out from under the sky. He's spent so much of his life lately on ships, in confined areas, that's what he draws comfort from. That hurts, too. Realizing that change. He just-- sighs, a little.]

I'm going to head back inside.

Oh.

[His expression closes off a little at that. Another tally on the fuck up count.]

... I'll be there in a few minutes.

[Shiro drops a hand against his shoulder and squeezes gently.]

It's not you. I just need some time. Stay as long as you want. It's beautiful out here, and I know you're enjoying it.

[The thought of sleeping out here crosses his mind. The only thing to make him decide not to is the unfamiliar ground and his own injuries. He nods, watching Shiro go back inside.

Keith stays, watching the unfamiliar color of the sky flash bright above him. Did Zarkon see this too? Back when this was first built, had the Galra emperor seen the way the reds spiral and whorl into the purple. The weather has all but destroyed the land outside this barrier, so what must he had found that was worth building this here?

It's close to an hour before he comes back in. He makes sure the little creature he'd been holding is safe under the kitchen door's awning just outside. It may be cute and it may not have attacked him, but it's still wild. A servibot whizzes past him, clean towels folded and on its way upstairs, likely to replenish the ones they'd used.]

...Late in the day, may as well.

[He takes up a station in the kitchen to pick through all the food they'd brought in. A lot of it he recognizes either having eaten it, or having eaten something similar. Sure, the bots could probably fix something, but he wants to. He needs to feel useful. Keith cautiously cleans everything, from the food to the dishes he uses; no telling what's on them after this long. He manages to put something together: simple, a kind of starchy grain he boiled and drained, some of the bug meat dug out and cooked proper in a pan. Enough for the two of them, a couple bites extra for Shadow if she's able to eat it.]

Hey, Shiro? Where're you at?

In here.

[He's sitting in the -- well, he supposes it's a den, the place with the chairs and the books. He'd heard Keith come in, but he'd been absorbed in trying to decipher the Altean text. Part of him wants to bring it back for Allura to read, but the other part--

(He wants to keep this place secret. This was somewhere Black brought them. Maybe that's selfish.)

He does look up when Keith enters the room, and he smiles.]

Hey. Smells great.

Thanks, it's-- Basic.

[Simple. Easy to eat with one hand and one fork. He sets it down on the table by Shiro. It may be a den, but there's no one to stop them from eating in here now. He does hesitate deciding to sit or eat somewhere else. Shadow makes the choice for him, moving to lay in the doorway.

Great.

He takes a breath and sits.]

Anything interesting? [He wishes he'd spent more time asking Krolia about Galra language. Maybe then he could read some of this.]

[He shakes his head, absently shifting in his chair so he can reach out with his right hand--

He stops. Moving his left instead takes a concentrated effort, and his expression is faintly pinched.]

Not much I can read. I know-- a little Altean now. I think Black was trying to teach me, but I feel like not everything-- you know, stuck. Some of it.

[The writing is a hybridization of Altean and Galra he's never seen before or since. He supposes it makes sense, given Zarkon's close relationship with Alfor, and Lotor's mother.]

Do you think this is what life was like, before the war?

Maybe? We could probably ask Coran.

[He gets a forkful of everything and chews it over. It isn't bad. But the thought that this is what things were like is almost unsettling. Calm, peaceful. Not like anything he's ever lived. It sets his nerves off if he lets himself think about it too long.]

Hard to imagine.

[Earth has had its share of wars. His grandmother even fought in one. But Shiro grew up in a peaceful time. That was in his soul too, but that impulse has been damaged now. Maybe irreparably. When you learn to operate under the stress and fear and tension of constant threat of combat or death, it changes you.

The fate of the universe is on the shoulders of teenagers. Kids. He wanted-- he tried so hard to protect them all, but sometimes the lines got blurred. Spare their innocence or let a civilization be destroyed. Let a hundred, a thousand, a million lives be lost.

Shiro never slept much, in the Castle. He knew Keith would stand tall under the mantle of leadership, but that too was necessity. He'd have spared him the rest if he could.

Keith grew up in peacetime too, but he's always been a fighter.]

I feel like I used to know what it was like.

[Even if it was peacetime, his life didn't seem to get that memo. He'd always been fighting somehow.

He eats and tries not to think too hard about it. About their fight, about the fact Shiro died despite everything he'd done to not let that happen.]

Hopefully we can finish helping the universe get back to that.

Even when we can stop what's left of Zarkon and Lotor's Empire [note, how he doesn't say Galra,] any peace we attain will still be fragile.

[He used to think they'd be able to dismantle Voltron. Go their separate ways. Now-- he thinks they might need to keep it active. As a threat. And doesn't that make them just as bad? Absolute power corrupts absolutely. He doesn't want to see himself, see any of them get that far. But he's not sure he'd trust anyone outside of their circle to pilot a lion, either.]

Have you given it any thought? What you want to do after.

[Keith blinks slowly at that, looking up at Shiro, then back to his plate.]

Hadn't really thought about it.

[His entire life has always been up in the air. He expects things to change at any second, so he doesn't bother planning. He isn't sure he even expects to live long given their current line of work.]